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Divorce Litigation vs. Mediation  
The Real Cost of Court for Families

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If you are going through a separation or getting divorced, the kind of lawyer you want is a divorce mediation lawyer. What do we mean by that? Well, you probably already know this, but the thing is that not all lawyers are the same. They have different skill sets and areas of knowledge and expertise. 

Importantly, not only do you want a lawyer that specializes in family law, but you also want them to have additional skills that go way beyond what was taught law school.

In my 25+ years of experience practicing family law, I have noticed that it is always the same lawyers dragging their clients through the court system. Does it mean that these divorce lawyers attract the kind of clients that always end up in court, or do the lawyers themselves have something to do with the fact that their clients often end up in court? Of course it has to do with the lawyers themselves. 

I am not saying that court is never the answer, because sometimes a judge needs to decide, however that is rare. If people can avoid court's financial and emotional cost, they should. That is why it is fundamentally important that your divorce lawyer has mediation skills training. This means that they are not only a divorce lawyer able to take your matter to court but also skilled in mediation.

The Financial Cost of Divorce Litigation vs. Mediation

The financial cost is the most obvious when comparing divorce litigation vs. mediation.  Litigation is expensive, really expensive. If you hire a lawyer for your divorce, you will want to know you are choosing the best family divorce lawyer. Great lawyers keep their clients, whenever possible, out of litigation. From filing and serving fees to mandatory court appearances and the drawn-out court process, the increased retainer fee is just the beginning of the financial costs associated with litigation. The average case can very quickly go from costing thousands of dollars to tens of thousands and even hundreds of thousands, especially when unexpected issues arise. 

The Emotional Cost of  Divorce Litigation vs. Mediation

Ask anyone who has been through divorce litigation vs. mediation and they will tell you that the stress and emotional strain alone was more intense than they ever would have thought. As soon as you bring litigation into the process when getting divorced, litigation vs. mediation raises the stakes and the animosity of the situation. Not only are you dealing with the emotions surrounding the breakdown of a relationship and family, litigation now adds a judge to evaluate and scrutinize the most private and intimate aspects of your family in front of everyone in the courtroom. The emotional strain can be so intense that it is not uncommon for individuals to ask for prescribed medication to help them sleep or cope with the turmoil that court can bring.

The Cost of Divorce Litigation vs. Mediation for your children

Of all the costs that litigation vs. mediation can bring to a family, is the impact on the children. Children are the ones who tend to suffer the most. Even when parents do not share with their children that they are in litigation, children are exposed to the stress and strain of their parents. 

Sometimes,  parents can get so caught up in the breakdown of their relationship and make sure they get what they feel they deserve that they don’t even realize the impact their litigation vs. mediation has on their kids. When parents litigate, children are the true victims.  Children also lose a lot of emotional attention from their parents when in litigation vs. mediation. Parents are often so preoccupied and depleted from the stress of the situation that they have nothing left at the end of the day to give to their children.

The Cost of Divorce Litigation vs. Mediation as it relates to your relationships

Divorce litigation vs. mediation affects all of your close relationships. It is not only the breakdown of a spousal relationship that is impacted when families go through court. Every relationship of the parties is affected in one way or another whether it be with the children, extended family, friends or new romantic interests. The strain divorce litigation vs. mediation puts on a person can be so intense that relationships that generally feel healthy and bring happiness can quickly begin to suffer and bring added stress. It is difficult for anyone to watch someone they care about go through the stress of litigation vs. mediation, and often well-meaning friends and family who are trying to help can create even more turmoil when they get involved in offering their opinions and advice which can often be very misleading and cause added stress and confusion for you, the person getting divorced.

The Cost of Divorce Litigation vs. Mediation in terms of time

When comparing divorce litigation vs. mediation, time is another huge factor. What can begin as simple letters going back and forth between lawyers trying to negotiate an agreement becomes stacks of court documents and dates booked months and even years in advance. The court process for a family matter can take as much as  2-3 years or even longer. What will you have lost in terms of much more enjoyable things you could be doing? Would your time and resources not be better spent on vacations and other activities that you may want to do with your family? Parties need to make themselves available for court and save finances for legal fees. Children are only young once so spending years in court may be a cost that is the game-changer in deciding how to proceed with your matter. 

The Cost of Uncertainty in Divorce Litigation vs. Mediation

When comparing divorce litigation vs. mediation, another cost that often is not fully understood by families is the loss of control over the outcome of their situation. Litigation means you are putting a person (a judge) unknown to you, your family or your kids, and entirely outside of your situation, in control of what will ultimately happen with your family. You are handing the outcome to a stranger.

Although judges are highly trained in the law, have a high degree of emotional intelligence, and can uncover truth in evidence, a judge is still a human being. They have their own opinions and biases so what one judge may rule another may not. There is no such thing as a sure “win” when litigating. Ultimately, going to court makes the outcome of a family matter even more unpredictable, bringing far more stress to everyone. 

There is a better way to getting divorced

Good thing there is a better way to getting divorced! You don’t have to drag your family through a long legal battle in the court system to ensure you and your children are taken care of. At The Better Divorce Company, we show you that there really is a better way. 

If you are going through a separation or divorce and are hoping to settle your matter amicably, here are some tips on avoiding court. If you are looking for assistance with your matter and are a resident of British Columbia, Canada, our law firm, called Pathway Legal can help. Here is some information on what our services look like. 

Don’t hesitate. Contact us today to hear how we can help you!