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Prepared, Protected, and Ready to Move Forward:
Your Divorce To-Do List

Where to get started you wonder? Well, here is your divorce to do list. Preparation saves you time, legal fees, and a lot of unnecessary stress. This list gives you a clear starting point, whether you are just beginning to think about separation or already on your way.

The clients who arrive prepared get through the process faster, with less cost and less drama. The ones who arrive with no paperwork, no financial overview, and no plan take longer and spend more.

This list is not exhaustive. It does not need to be completed in order. Not everything will apply to your situation. But working through it will give you a solid foundation and a real sense of clarity about where to start.

Stop and read this first:
Do not sign any new agreements or make any significant changes to your life, such as moving out, transferring large sums of money, or closing joint accounts, without first consulting a family lawyer in BC. Some actions, once taken, are very difficult to undo.

1. Get your finances in order

This is the most important place to start. Having no understanding of your financial situation, or no access to funds of your own, can leave you profoundly vulnerable. This is true no matter how educated, capable, or financially savvy you are in other areas of your life.

Client Story: Paige

Paige was in her mid-thirties, university educated, and worked at Canada Revenue Agency. She was no one's idea of someone who was financially naive. But she had no bank account of her own, no personal savings, and no credit in her own name. She had all of those things held jointly with her husband.

When her marriage ended unexpectedly, her husband cancelled her credit card and emptied the joint account the same day. The good news is that Paige was not left destitute because she had family who stepped in. But a separate bank account and her own credit card would have made things much easier for her during a very stressful time.

Whether your marriage is rock solid or starting to feel uncertain, your finances need to be your own responsibility. That is not pessimistic. It is just smart.

Financial Foundation Checklist:

  • Open your own bank account and direct your pay there. If you maintain a joint account for household expenses, transfer funds across as needed. The point is that you need your own money.
  • Get your own credit card. Some clients hold a card their spouse does not know about, which allows them to access legal advice and other resources privately.
  • Check and protect your credit score. Late or missed payments during a stressful separation can damage it. If you are jointly responsible for a mortgage or loan, a missed payment by your spouse affects your score too.
  • Keep an eye on all joint accounts and make sure bills, loans, and mortgage payments are made on time.
  • Once your final agreement is reached, close all joint accounts, lines of credit, and credit cards immediately. Do not leave them open with available credit.

Client Story: Brad

Brad and Stephanie reached a separation agreement on their own and even used an online template to write it up. They sold their house, paid off the mortgage, and cleared their joint credit card balance of $2,300. It seemed tidy.

What Brad did not do was cancel the card. It still had $35,000 in available credit. Stephanie remembered that. She used it to pay her legal fees to litigate against Brad over a parenting dispute. Then she went bankrupt. Brad was the only remaining joint holder of that credit card and was left to pay the entire $35,000 himself.

He effectively paid for the legal fees used to fight him. Close the accounts. Every single one.

2. Gather and organize your financial documents

If gathering financial documents sounds tedious to you, you are not alone. But knowing your numbers is one of the most empowering things you can do. If you cannot face it all at once, spend ten minutes a day on it. Just ten. You will get there.

Financial Documents Checklist:

  • Bank account statements (at least 3 years back)
  • Investment account statements
  • Lines of credit statements
  • Pension documents
  • Retirement plan documents (RRSP in Canada, 401k in the US)
  • Loan statements
  • Insurance documents (auto, life, disability)
  • Tax returns (3 most recent years)
  • If you own a business: corporate financial statements and tax returns (3 most recent years)
  • If you own a business: year-to-date profit and loss statement
  • Most recent year-to-date pay stub
  • Property assessments and appraisals
  • Up-to-date mortgage statement
  • Cash on hand and any bullion (gold, silver, etc.)
  • Loans made to or from family members
  • Airline points and loyalty program balances
  • Prepare a summary: list all assets (personal and corporate), all outstanding debt balances, and a breakdown of monthly expenses (mortgage, car payments, daycare, etc.)

If you have any concern that your spouse may not be fully transparent about finances, photograph or copy statements whenever you have access to them. Go back as far as you can, ideally three years or more. One of our clients discovered her husband had hidden hundreds of thousands of dollars in undisclosed accounts. The documentation she had gathered beforehand changed the outcome entirely.

3. Gather your important legal and personal documents

Your lawyer needs complete and accurate information to advise you properly. Missing documents can genuinely change the outcome of your matter. We once had a client who mentioned, almost in passing, that he had signed some kind of agreement years ago but had lost it. At mediation, the other side produced it. It was a binding agreement, signed with independent legal advice. It significantly changed what he was entitled to. Do not let that be you.

Legal and Personal Documents Checklist:

  • Real estate deeds and titles
  • Powers of attorney
  • Wills
  • Marriage certificate or registration
  • Any prenuptial, marriage, or cohabitation agreements
  • A list of personal items that matter to you

4. Protect your privacy

Your lawyer needs complete and accurate information to advise you properly. Missing documents can genuinely change the outcome of your matter. We once had a client who mentioned, almost in passing, that he had signed some kind of agreement years ago but had lost it. At mediation, the other side produced it. It was a binding agreement, signed with independent legal advice. It significantly changed what he was entitled to. Do not let that be you.

Privacy Checklist:

  • Change all your passwords, including email, banking, and social media. If your spouse knows or can guess your passwords, your private communications are not private.
  • Make sure you have your own mobile phone on your own account. A shared plan means shared visibility.
  • If your spouse has access to shared devices, check that emails and messages are not being forwarded or monitored.

5. Prepare for your initial lawyer consultation

You do not have to retain a lawyer right away, but an initial consultation is one of the most valuable things you can do. Come prepared and you will get far more out of the time.

What to bring to your first appointment:

  • A basic chronology of your relationship: when you met, when you moved in together, when you married, your date of separation, and any other key events
  • Full names and dates of birth for you, your spouse, and your children
  • Social Insurance Numbers (SIN) for you and your spouse
  • A draft financial summary: your income and expenses, a list of assets, and a list of debts
  • Copies of any agreements already signed (prenuptial, cohabitation, separation)

6. Know your dispute resolution options

Once filed, the application moves through the court's administrative process. We track its progress so you are never left wondering what is happening. Court timelines vary, and we keep you informed at every stage.

You have probably guessed by now that it takes a lot longer to get a divorce than it does to get married.

Dispute resolution options to explore:

  •  Negotiating directly with your spouse
  • Negotiation between lawyers
  • Four-way meetings (you, your spouse, and both lawyers)
  • □  Mediation/arbitration
  • □  Collaborative family law
  • □  Settlement conference with a judge
  • Mediation

7. Consider other professional support

A family lawyer handles the legal framework. But separation affects every part of your life, and there are other professionals who can make a real difference.

Other professionals who may help:

  • Psychologist or counsellor
  • Life coach or divorce coach
  • Parenting coach or parenting coordinator
  • Online support communities specific to your situation

8. Prepare for your first conversations

How you handle the first conversations, with your spouse and with your children, can shape the entire tone of your separation. Getting those right matters.

With your spouse

Being as non-combative as possible from the start is one of the most powerful things you can do for your own outcome. The tone you set in the first conversation tends to carry through the whole process.

With your children

Children are more resilient than parents often fear, but they need certain things to feel safe. They need to know they are loved. They need to know they will still see both of you. They need to know it is not their fault. And they need space to have big feelings about all of it. Let them.

If you read one parenting book through this process, make it How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It is genuinely transformative.

Preparation is not about expecting the worst. It is about making sure that whatever comes next, you are ready for it. The families who come through this process well are almost always the ones who started with a clear foundation.