Pitfalls of NOT Getting a Friendly Divorce - You Can Avoid These Pitfalls!
1. It's expensive
A high-conflict divorce can and usually does get very expensive. In our experience, resolving the legal aspects of your family law matter using friendly divorce methods such as mediation costs a fraction of what people pay to drag matters through the court system.
2. It's Stressful
A friendly divorce avoids overwhelming emotional stress and turmoil. Getting divorced is hard enough. You don’t need to add easily avoidable legal battles to the mix. Make sure you hire a lawyer that values friendly divorce methods. It is no coincidence that it is always the same divorce lawyers who repeatedly drag their clients through courtrooms. At Pathway Legal, we use the court system as a last resort and do everything possible to avoid the stress of a high-conflict divorce.
3. Your Relationship will never Recover
If you remember this fact: you are still a family, and even though your family looks much different than you expected when you first fell in love, you are more likely to get through the entire legal process while still maintaining respect, and even compassion for your ex-spouse. A friendly divorce allows you to be a family still. When families end up in courtrooms, they throw the worst of everything at each other, and those relationships never recover.
4. It takes way too much time
Once they have decided to get a divorce, most people want to get through the process and start building a new life for themselves. Why wait right? Well, the problem with not getting a friendly divorce is that it takes time, a long time, to see your matter resolved. In our experience, when we utilize dispute resolution strategies available for a friendly divorce in British Columbia, we can get to a final legally binding agreement anywhere from two to six months after being hired. Whenever the court system becomes involved, sometimes, those months become years. Wouldn’t you rather just get on with your life? Most people do.
5. Your kids will be Impacted
If you have kids, they will be impacted if you do not get a friendly divorce. Even if you and your ex-spouse do everything possible to shield them from the ugliness of court, if there are court proceedings, they will know about it in some way. Even if they are not specifically aware that a court case is happening, they will pick up on the stress, frustration, and even financial concerns you have because you are engaged in a court process.
6. It affects your other Important Relationships
The turmoil associated with not getting a friendly divorce impacts your kids and you, and court proceedings will also likely have significant consequences for your other relationships. When going through stressful times, we will seek the support of friends and family. Although friends and family are often happy to assist us in times of need, it can be exhausting and stressful for them too. Friends and family can become “fed up” with lengthy and tumultuous litigation almost just as much as the parties themselves.
7. It is not Private and Confidential
If you didn’t want your “dirty laundry” aired for everyone to see and know about, court proceedings are public. Absolutely anyone can walk into your court proceedings and learn about some of the most intimate details of your personal life. When you utilize a methodology for a friendly divorce in British Columbia, you get to keep your negotiations and settlements confidential between you, your ex-spouse and your lawyers. Nobody gets to dig into your personal life without your consent.
8. It will impact your Reputation
Regardless of whether or not you are in the “right,” court proceedings impact your reputation. Think of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Even though our dear Johnny “won”, his reputation has been tarnished by that very famous court battle. Although your court battle will likely not be so public, famous, or dramatic, people gossip, and your reputation will likely be affected.
9. It will increase the chance of ongoing Conflict
Just because court is over, does not mean the conflict will end. If you have gone to court against your ex-spouse, it will be a knock ‘em down and drag ‘em out-type situation, at least to a certain degree. Once people have had that kind of fight, it is unlikely that they will ever get along in future. This is particularly a problem if you have kids. If you've had a big court battle, will both of you be able to attend your children’s school concerts, sports events, soccer practices, and weddings?
10. You have no control over any of the outcomes or the process to get there
When you use dispute resolution to resolve your matter, you have much more control over how long the process takes, how much the process will cost, how much stress it causes you, and whether or not you and your ex-spouse will have a relatively positive future relationship.